Grape Candy Tastes Like Arse
lolol…this is the peak, or depth, of all silliness.
Mmmm candy. It’s so good. So many different flavors. Lemonade. Cherry. Red. Mmmmm….Freeze pops. Now and Laters. Jolly Ranchers. Juice “drink”. Think of the tastiness.
Now think which flavor is the last to get consumed?
You guessed it right.
Grape. Because grape candy tastes like arse.
I have a question for all of the candy makers in the world. Why does the purple/grape flavor of candy have to be so damned gross? Real life actual grapes, are food from God Himself (that is, if God had a personal stash) Humans, however, will never make in their primitive labs a flavor that comes CLOSE to actual grape. It will only serve to taste like glutes, and make your mouth look like you just gave Grimace a BJ.
Same thing with banana candy. Rosalyn Sanchez has strenghtened my love for the banana (I don’t like to eat them, just youtube Rosalyn Sanchez Banana – you’ll see why) But turn it into candy form, and you get shelve-warmers like banana Now and Laters.
But the king of kings of all nasty candy has to be ***drumroll***
BLACK LICORICE. This shit is horrible enough to make kids eat their brussells sprouts.
Racism in the worst form. Why does the nastiest flavor of all candies have to be black? [racism accusatory tone, lol] I once dated a gorgeous doctor who modeled part time, had no daddy issues, and made me delicious hero sandwiches after sex. Until I seen her take a pack of good and plenty out of her purse. NOOOOOO!!!! We made sweet love that night, and afterwards talked about geopolitics and string theory. The point of that story? Nothing at all. It just sounded really cool.
To the candy makers of the world; please discontinue these flavors. And bring back Cherry Clan.
What is your favorite candy? Any weird flavors you like? MMmmm candy **drools***
Awesomeness Inc, 2008.
Note to Self: 