Letter for whenever you look at this: A closed mouth don’t get fed.

I have an issue.

well, actually I have many issues. lol. everyone does. leave me alone.

One of the reasons why I’m so doggedly self-reliant, self-propelled, and self selfish is because…

I don’t like asking for help.

I’ve always figured that it’s much easier to get it for yourself, with no help, than to do things alongside and with the help of others.

My rationale: You don’t have to share credit. You don’t have to answer, wait, or be accountable to anyone else. I guess there is a freedom there.  And most importantly, you don’t have to be let down if you do it this way. I don’t depend on people, because generally I don’t think they have my best interest. The main reason, however, is because I don’ t believe I am worthy of it. 

Damn that was truthful. 

But, That’s probably not the best way to go about things. I leave a lot on the table. I don’t take advantage of even small things, (i.e. frequent flyer miles, free help, etc etc) again because of this self-sufficiency. There’s probably a gang of people who would love to see me advance, and have reached out to me in various ways, but yet and still I think there’s more nobility in getting it done allll by yourself.

Well, that has changed. I’m changing my position.

By watching my friends’ brobro pick up chicks, I’ve discovered something. The infinite power of asking. 

Very simple. He’d talk to a girl and at the end have a simple proposition.

“I would like to have your phone number.” 

And most of the time, he got it. And if not, it’s not the end of the world. On to the next venture. But as in the words of Jordan “you miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take.” 

I have a giant fear of rejection. There. I said it. I don’t like hearing no. But instead of being afraid of “no”, I need to create ways that will give me “yes.” 

I want more things, and I want others to do things for me as well. I should be able to ask for these things. I don’t think I should be afraid to ask for what I want, or to make it be known. So if you see me and I ask you for something wild, crazy, and/or audacious, know it’s for a good purpose. 

From now on, I will be asking myself, the universe, and those around me for more. More stuff. More less stuff. We want more.

– sdot

Vote for me: Free Weezy

We can agree that Wacka Flaka goes hard in the paint. And yes Rick Ross is the bauce. Gucci Mane should be knighted +  showered with gifts. But we all know who’s the star of the show, who can’t shine because he’s behind bars.

Weezy.

What does this have to do with voting for Sean Uppercut you ask?

If you vote for me, on Nov 2nd, I GUARANTEE I’ll free Lil Wayne.

That’s right. In fact, I’ll make it my first act of governance. A whole two days later, on Nov 4th, I will make the call and get him released. Who else do you know could do that? How can one man have all that power?

What a joyous day for people, fans, and doctors who deliver babies. With him released, the goon/goblin ratio will fall to record lows. Syrup sales will increase, stimulizing the pharmaceutical industry. And the number of haters, snitches, lames, and enemies will be eradicated. Remember. There is a gun in his boo purse. And he don’t shoot back. Cause he shoot first.

Imagine what else I can do. Jetpacks at bus stops. Free bottles of Don Julio, or whatever other liquor that gets mentioned more than 5 times in a rap song. Or barbecque for the whole hood.

Vote (wait, write in)  Sean Uppercut. “I’s Good for the Hood”

– sponsored by awesomeness inc/young money ent.

Cars I might get when they DEPRECIATE

New car. The smell. The fact that you’re driving a virgin vessel, with a virgin backseat. Drive the car off the lot. Ahhhhh….

Lose 5000 dollars.

Yes. We at A.I. know that as soon as you drive a car off the lot, the value drops. Significantly. Dangerously significantly.

Which is why I refuse to take a loan out for something that depreciates. Also couple in the fact that I have a motopsycho, so anything that goes fast will not compare anyways.

Through the two cars I’ve had in my life, (93 ford probe, 99 prelude) I’ve picked winners. Timelessly beautiful, I look for cars that have a certain theme of beauty, and don’t get “played out” over the years. Some designs will always work really well, and some…well….

So here’s the list of cars that I think are hot now, and I can wait till they depreciate to get. Chea!

Pontiac G8 GXP: By the time I get one, there’s a good chance there might not be a Pontiac. Ahh well. Let’s get that metallic orange(or red), with black wheels (chrome lips)

Infiniti g35: Sexy. A bit more….raw and unrefined than the new g37’s to me. Just how I like them.

Saab Turbo X: Ridiculously overpriced, but born from jets. TSo that makes it okay. You like how I said “tso” cause that pronounciation is the same…mwahahaha

Audi a5: Awesome. Classic car beauty. I don’t even know what to say, I’m breathtaken.

Honda s2000: Gorgeous. I’ve always thought these cars were hot since I seen the first one. Still do. They even look fast when they’re parked.

Aston Martin DBS: Black please. lolol….Since this is the car I’m not serious about, watch me actually get one hahahhaha. James bond-mobile.

A.i. 2009

Grape Candy Tastes Like Arse

lolol…this is the peak, or depth, of all silliness.

Mmmm candy. It’s so good. So many different flavors. Lemonade. Cherry. Red. Mmmmm….Freeze pops. Now and Laters. Jolly Ranchers. Juice “drink”. Think of the tastiness.

Now think which flavor is the last to get consumed?

You guessed it right.

Grape. Because grape candy tastes like arse.

I have a question for all of the candy makers in the world. Why does the purple/grape flavor of candy have to be so damned gross? Real life actual grapes, are food from God Himself (that is, if God had a personal stash) Humans, however, will never make in their primitive labs a flavor that comes CLOSE to actual grape. It will only serve to taste like glutes, and make your mouth look like you just gave Grimace a BJ.

Same thing with banana candy. Rosalyn Sanchez has strenghtened my love for the banana (I don’t like to eat them, just youtube Rosalyn Sanchez Banana – you’ll see why) But turn it into candy form, and you get shelve-warmers like banana Now and Laters.

But the king of kings of all nasty candy has to be ***drumroll***

BLACK LICORICE. This shit is horrible enough to make kids eat their brussells sprouts.

Racism in the worst form. Why does the nastiest flavor of all candies have to be black? [racism accusatory tone, lol] I once dated a gorgeous doctor who modeled part time, had no daddy issues, and made me delicious hero sandwiches after sex. Until I seen her take a pack of good and plenty out of her purse. NOOOOOO!!!! We made sweet love that night, and afterwards talked about geopolitics and string theory. The point of that story? Nothing at all. It just sounded really cool.

To the candy makers of the world; please discontinue these flavors. And bring back Cherry Clan.

What is your favorite candy? Any weird flavors you like? MMmmm candy **drools***

Awesomeness Inc, 2008.